“You’ll Never Be Lance” and Other Road Wisdom

My last weekend of riding in Austin before returning to my home in Chicago. The tundra had melted enough to allow long training rides, and I was missing my own bed.

I planned 2 long days, 300 miles on Friday, followed by 150-300 miles on Saturday.

Friday was fairly uneventful until 3 AM Saturday morning when on a nearly empty stretch of 620 a left turning SUV came within inches of hitting me. The woman driving rolled down her window and exclaimed “I never saw you”. It is easy enough to point out that I have mutiple headlights and lots of reflective clothing. I was amazed by this statement. Of course you didn’t see me, or else you would have to yell “Sorry, I tried to kill you, but I am such a bad driver I couldn’t hit you”.

I began my second day by heading north along the lake toward Liberty Hill. A girl yelled out her window, “You’ll never be Lance”. This made me laugh. Normally I hear something more akin to “Get the F**K off the road”. I wondered if I should be insulted by the statement, but at first I thought it was kinda cool, than it came to mind I’ll never be Lance, but Lance will never be me.

As the evening proceeded I received a nearly indecipherable message from an articulation impaired vehicle passenger. Something about “Fag, mumble mumble one testicle mumble”.

I continued my training ride into the night. Upon leaving Florence TX, I had a vehicle pull up behind me and follow for a few seconds. I than hear through the PA system of the police car, “You must be incredibly brave to ride on these highways at night”. The “… or stupid” portion of the announcement can be inferred. I had not really thought too much of riding on lightly trafficked country roads up to this point. A period of paranoia followed until th end of the ride.

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